It's Not What It Looks Like
by missinhalf
Summary: AU. You laughed in a restaurant but you have an ugly laugh and I thought you were choking, so I spent the last three minutes awkwardly humping you while performing the Heimlich maneuver


**A/N**: Based off the "meet ugly" prompt list from tumblr by tokiosunset

* * *

Sasuke has spent the last three minutes, repeatedly performing the Heimlich maneuver on the woman who was sitting in the booth behind him.

He was in the middle of dinner with Naruto when he heard one of the women behind him choking. She was making an unexplainable sound and to make matters worse she was slapping the table with her hand causing her silverware to clatter against it. Everyone in the restaurant had quiet down and it was quickly filling with gasps and whispers of worry.

"Oh my god! She's choking," he hears someone cry.

"Someone help her!" shouts another.

Without a hint of hesitation, Sasuke shoots up from his booth, makes a quick turn and grabs the woman's slim arm, pulling her out of her booth.

A sharp gasp escapes her lips. Without a moment to lose, he quickly turns her around, resting her back against his chest and snakes his arms around her waist. He places his hands on her abdomen. He forms a fist with his left hand and places it under her breast bone and uses his other hand to firmly cover his fist.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing," he reassures as he starts to roughly pull inward and upward over her abdomen.

She gasps sharply at his first forceful pull, but she doesn't cough out whatever is lodged in her throat so he repeats the motion, only for her to gasp again.

He constantly repeats sharp and quick pulls inward and upwards, praying that she wouldn't faint. He could hear the other patrons of the restaurant whispering and he could feel their stares on his burning into his back.

After a couple more pulls and no cough to show for he calls out to Naruto to call 9-1-1.

Not that he cares about fame, he couldn't help but note that he's going to be this girl's hero. He, Sasuke Uchiha, is attempting to save her life. He wonders if his name will make it into headlines and smirks cunningly knowing how irritated Naruto will be after having to hear about how heroic his best friend is, while he just stood here and watched like a startled deer.

"Would you quit humping her!"

He pauses in mid pull, having been snapped out of his fantasy. He looks over at the voice who just demanded that idiotic statement and notices that it was her friend.

_Me? Hump her? What the hell is she talking about?_

He slackens his grip around the woman when he hears her groan.

"Ugh, that hurts," she mutters, breathlessly.

Sasuke winces when he hears the pain in her voice and her undisturbed voice.

_What the hell is going on? _

He releases his grip on the girl and she sinks to the floor. Everyone around them are as dumbfounded as he is as they stopped their whispering.

"What the hell is your problem?!" her blonde friend furiously yells as she slips out of the booth and crouches to rub her friend's back.

He takes a step back and stares at them, confused. He notices for the first time that night that the girl he was helping has cotton pink hair. A strange colour for one's hair and he concludes that it's probably dyed.

"What is _my_ problem? What is _your_ problem," he argues defensively. "I was trying to save her life while you just watched not caring that she was dying!"

"I wasn't choking, actually," she corrects rubbing her bruised abdomen.

Sasuke stands there before the pinkette and her blonde friend, speechless. His eyes widen with horror he realizes what it might have looked like to her and her blonde friend. He could hear the other customers laughing and snickering at his misinterpretation.

_Shit, she's going to think I'm some horn dog. The dobe will never let me live this one down._

"So what were you doing?! It sounded as if you were choking!"

"I was … laughing," she embarrassingly admits.

"Laughing?" he rudely echoes. "Well your laughter is so -"

He ends mid-sentence when she turns to face him.

_Shit. She's gorgeous. _

Her vibrant green eyes widen when they meet his as she comes to the same conclusion he did. Her short pink hair is neatly parted to the side and frames her face. Her cheeks are tainted red, either from him humping her in front of an audience or the fact that he was about to insult her laugh.

"'Is so' _what_?" she hisses.

"Is so ugly, I think he meant to say," Naruto causally admits, rubbing his chin.

"Is that what you think?" She glares daggers at him even though it was Naruto that said that.

Before he could reply the sound of sirens could he heard, becoming louder as each second past.

"Well that was fast," Naruto says stating the obvious.

It had to be less than a couple of minutes ago that he told Naruto call 9-1-1 so that means he must have been inappropriately humping her for about a good three minutes when it now feels like hours. He covers his face with his hands and drags them down his face with humiliation, hoping the ground could somehow swallow him up.

Two paramedics burst through the front door and makes their way towards them.

They stop before the two girls on the floor, glancing down at them and then at him before asking where the choking individual is.

"Ugh, there was a -" He is cut short when he starts choking on his saliva. He starts to cough and pound on his chest to make the irritation in his throat disappear.

He hears the unexplainable noise again, but this time he knows it's her horrendous laughter.

"It would appear that _he_ is the one choking."

He makes eye contact with her and she has the most breathtaking smile he has ever seen. He decides right then and there that he always wants to the cause of her smile, even if he has to deal with her laughter which he could learn to love.


End file.
